Hopeful Soul

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Do you ever fixate on something you want SO badly to change, but you just simply don’t have means to make a change? This has been me for the better part of the past few months and I needed an outlet to just get my thoughts down. I wanted this blog to be space where I/we can celebrate the small things in life that make us truly happy. Well, the reality is that life has its ups and its downs and currently I’m in a down moment. Hopefully me getting my thoughts out of my own head will encourage others to do so as well. So….

The past few months I’ve felt stuck. Like I’ve been in the same position for years. When my brain gets like this, I forget all of the things I have accomplished, people who have come (and out) of my life, the goals I still have for myself, and more importantly… Everything will work out when it is supposed to. For example, I graduated with degree in Public Health. I went into this profession knowing jobs are scarce and thankless and wouldn’t make me a millionaire. But I LOVE teaching others about healthy environments, how to keep their nasty colds away, and when to NEVER eat lettuce. It’s what I enjoy doing the most. I currently do not work in the field it’s pretty much killing me. I don’t work out or have the motivation to, I couldn’t tell you the last time I put makeup on, I have shitty hours at work (sorry, but they do), never have a moment to myself all week which in turns takes a toll on all of my relationships….

Is your head spinning yet? Yeah, this has been me for the past few months just add daily crying fits because of my frustrations.

While I’m eternally grateful for all the wonderful people in my life, this part has always fallen short. But, for myself, I need to just keep working and trust that there is a reason why I am currently “stuck” where I am. If I don’t, I’m literally letting life pass my by. I’m wallowing in my self pity basically instead of making the most of what free time I currently do have. 

So, why am I telling you all of this? I want it to help other people realize that when life has it ups and downs, there’s a reason for it. You didn’t get that job you were praying every night for? There must be something better coming along. You get your dream house… savor every single moment about the process, decorating, and the memories to come. For myself personally, whenever I leave my current job for one that “sets my soul on fire” it will all be worth it. I’ll take anything I’ve learned or encountered there with me. When I finally get to move in with my love…let’s just say I have a Homegoods and Target fund ready to make it our own. 

One last thing… I used to have this ridiculous timeline in my head about life. You know, be married by 28, buy a house at 30… (no kids for this girl, so I’m good!) I realized as I’ve grown up, timelines are so irrelevant to life. You have to live in the NOW. Focus on TODAY while keeping those milestones in mind. If we could all snap our fingers and get what we wanted, when do we learn and grow? 

Everything will work out in life. Trust that it will and let all of the worries and anxiety go and enjoy your life as it is right now in this moment.

“In all this chaos we found safety.”- Brighten

xo,

Janine

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